My favourite 5 ideas from the Stoics
If you've come across anything on Stoicism on the Internet, it's quite possible that you heard about it through Ryan Holiday. Or at least that's how my introduction to Stoicism began. I've gained a value from the ideas (Stoic or not) that he shares through his books, YouTube videos, book recs newsletter, and blog posts.
Yes, as any with other content creator, there are plugs for his books, courses, and other merchandise in his content, but I've not found them overwhelming. I buy his books (also not all), but don't feel a need to buy beyond that. What keeps me reading his stuff is that I think he genuinely does try to spread good and worthwhile ideas to make things better in the wider world.
To give you a flavour of his writing, here's a recent blog post on 37 lessons he learnt from the Stoics. I'm relatively familiar with Stoic ideas, and yet I found good reminders for myself in this post.
Here are 5 lessons from the post that especially resonated with me. I also share a brief thought that arose from them:
In one of his most famous letters to Lucilius, Seneca gives a pretty simple prescription for the good life. āEach day,ā he wrote, āacquire something that will fortify you against poverty, against death, indeed against other misfortunes.ā One gain per day. Thatās it. One quote, one prescription, one story. āWell-being,ā Zeno said, āis attained by little and little, and nevertheless is no little thing itself.ā
If you look for just one thing each day to help you live a better life, by the end of your life you will have a store of wisdom
"If your choices are beautiful,ā Epictetus said, āso too will you be." Itās simple and itās true: you are what your choices make you. Nothing more and nothing less.
Each choice we make brings us down the path of our fate
The now-famous passage from Marcus Aurelius is that the impediment to action advances action, that what stands in the way becomes the way (which is also the passage that inspired my book The Obstacle is the Way). But do you know what he was talking about specifically? He was talking about difficult people! He was saying that frustrating, infuriating, thoughtless people are opportunities to practice excellence and virtueābe it forgiveness, patience, self-control, or cheerfulness. But itās not just with difficult people. Thatās what Iāve come to see as the essence of Stoicism: every situation is a chance to practice virtue. So when I find myself in situations big and small, positive or negative, I try to see each of them as an opportunity for me to be the best Iām capable of being in that moment.
What a shift ā from seeing difficult people as obstacles to living well, to seeing them as opportunities for embodying virtue!
Every event has two handles, Epictetus said: āone by which it can be carried, and one by which it canāt. If your brother does you wrong, donāt grab it by his wronging, because this is the handle incapable of lifting it. Instead, use the otherāthat he is your brother, that you were raised together, and then you will have hold of the handle that carries.ā This applies to everything. When bad news comes, do I grab the handle of despair or the handle of action? When Iām slighted, do I grab the handle of grievance or the handle of grace? When things feel uncertain, do I grab the handle of fear or the handle of preparation? I donāt get to choose what happens. But I do get to choose how I respond. And if I want to carry the weight of whatever comes next, I have to grab the handle thatās strong enough to hold.
Coming back to the theme of choice, this helps me see that my perception of an event does not need to be governed by my default instincts
There is a wonderful quote from āEpictetusā that I think of every time I see someone get terribly offended or outraged about something. I try to think about it when I get upset myself. āIf someone succeeds in provoking you,ā he said, ārealize that your mind is complicit in the provocation.ā Whatever the other person did is on them. Whatever your reaction is to their remark or action, thatās on you. Donāt let them bait you or make you upset. Focus on managing your own behavior. Let them poke and provoke as much as they like. Donāt be complicit in the offense.
As someone who grapples with feeling offended by remarks/comments, this is a reminder that I have to give them permission to make me feel bad. Also reminds me of this Eleanor Roosevelt quote: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
On an entirely unrelated note, it's been 1 month (30 days) since I first posted on this blog! Here's a pat on my back for still learning in public, and tending to my own path of the Internet.