Are you in a phase?
It was just a phase.
This is a line that we often use to describe things we were once into but fell out off: cartoons, emo rock, skinny jeans, crocheting...the list goes on.
Whenever I've heard it or said it myself, it's often tinged with embarrassment, guilt, or even shame.
Why? I think it could be either/both:
- A need to present ourselves in the most flattering light. Like we've always been this cool, clever, or charismatic. So we handwave away the parts of ourselves that don't fit into that polished image.
- The discipline narrative that we must always follow-through with what we start. And we want to avoid any judgement for being a dilettante.
I wonder what happens when we accept our phases?
Reading is a big part of my identity. Most days, I'm reading a work of fiction or non-fiction. And now and then, I find myself going through a phase.
At various points I've ended up deep in a particular area: WWII history, colonialism, biographies, comics, philosophy, science, just to name a few. At some point, the momentum wanes. Sometimes after one book, sometimes after a few. Then I move on to the next thing that catches my attention.
For quite some time, I've harboured a sense of guilt — that I'm not reading "right". Ryan Holiday and other writers recommend going deep into a topic, and they manage to read book after consecutive book on it. They promote the benefits of reading in this way as it builds a rich treasure trove of knowledge.
But I wonder, what happens if I just accept that I read in phases, and let go of this broken soundtrack?
Perhaps, it's when we accept our phases, without embarrassment, guilt or shame, that we get to enjoy them fully.